type 1 diabetes | Sugar Beat 1

This was a column I wrote for the Esquimalt News, May 2005 and later used as a podcast on Babas Beach.

There is a long list of things I hate about my daughter’s diabetes. I mean things above and beyond the obvious ones of her having to puncture herself several times a day to measure blood sugars or administer insulin. Or all the things the future holds if my angel doesn’t keep her blood sugars in a reasonable range: blindness, kidney failure and limb amputation, to name a few.

Nope, there are a few other things, admittedly a little further down the list of concerns and irritations this pancreatic spanner caused when it was tossed into the general works of my life. Yes, I said “my life”. Sometimes, believe it or not, it really is all about me. If I can take on all the guilt and blame that goes along with the price of admission to parenthood, surely I can also lay claim to some sympathy time for those moments when my little bundles of joy bring home injured birds, weird friends, contagious diseases for which I have no immunity and the odd chronic illnesses for which there is no cure.

Yes, I know, she is the one with the insulin pump keeping her alive by means of a thin tube of plastic and a wicked long needle she has to re-insert every three days into another place on her tummy. She is the one who has to do the finger pokes and take insulin and get paraded in front of a series of medical professionals on a regular basis, every one of which asks the same questions and stress the same need to be vigilant about her blood sugars. Not only does she get the standard haranguing from parents about her homework, the current bio-hazard rating of her bedroom and “who was that boy you were talking to?”; she also has to put up with being reminded several times a day to do finger pokes, what was your last blood sugar, is it time to change your pump site, how many carbs are in that cookie and did you increase your insulin enough to take care of it?

Here is the true evil of this particular illness: it hits kids. From babies to teenagers it robs them of their childhood and burdens them with the dark truth of their mortality. If there is one thing I hate the most about this wretched disease it is that my daughter was robbed of those precious years of her childhood dreams of immortality. When she was 10 she had to grow up overnight and realize life could end for her in an instant.

How can this be about me, I hear you ask. Well, let me put it this way; ask any mother if she’d stand in front of a gun to save her child or face down any threat to her baby. I’m pretty sure most fathers would gladly arm themselves with a butter knife and fight a bear if it would save their little girls from one broken heart. Now, ask which will hurt more, a bullet, a bear or the knowledge there isn’t anything you can do to keep the hurt and the broken heart out of your baby’s life?

Being a parent of a child with diabetes means knowing he or she has to physically hurt themselves repeatedly throughout the day in order to stay alive. It means dealing with the emotional fallout when a well meaning adult- who doesn’t know there are three types of diabetes, two of which have nothing to do with the current catch phrase of “lifestyle choices” – teaches your daughter’s class that diabetes is caused by being fat, lazy and eating too much junk food.

Then there are those dear folk who insist on taking her or me or her grannie aside to tell us insulin only makes diabetes worse, she should be taking this vitamin or going to that naturopath or eat a diet of tofu and groats. Fortunately, my daughter has more sense than a lot of adults.

I guess it is more accurate to say we are a family with diabetes because it affects every single one of us. Even the dreaded big sister, who will smother me in my sleep for what I am about to reveal, knows she can’t protect her rotten little sister from this one cowardly bully. Hard to believe, I know but it’s true. One day at school her class was lined up for a vaccination against one of the many Ite-esses starting with the letter H. A girl in the line kept whining about why do they torture kids this way, gawd, like, the size of the needle, the pain, how sick she was last time…the usual things. My first born fixed this classmate with her patented dead fish stare and said “quit your complaining, friend, my sister has to do this four times a day. Be grateful.” She may have used a fewer words and slightly more pithy language but that was the gist of it. Now I have to go into the parent protection program.

Okay, there are a whole of things I really don’t like about juvenile diabetes. At this time of year, however, I’m supposed to be upbeat and talk about how close medical research is to actually sending this particular demon back to the seventh level of hell where it belongs. And it is; it really is getting closer every day. But close only counts in horse-shoes and hand grenades, as the old saying goes. And lab rats don’t work for free, y’know.

So, when it comes to my daughter I’ll swallow my pride, brow beat my co-workers, friends and family to pledge me in the June Walk to Cure Diabetes. Whether I like doing it or not, at least it is one way I have of actually doing something. And it is a little less painful than wrestling with a bear.

If you want more information, go to the website www.jdrf.ca . If you don’t have a computer, call the foundation, toll free, at 1-877-287-3533.

I learned of Trudeau’s death when taking a few minutes to grab a coffee in the parents’ lounge on the Pediatric Ward. It was my third day there – I’d been sleeping on the floor by R.’s bed each night until, finally, one of the nurses suggested I see if a bed was available in the parents’ quarters just down the hall. I suppose they’d hoped I’d go home each night but that wasn’t going to happen until I was sure she was out of the woods.

It was something I had to do. The thought of her waking up in the night – and she was being woken up two or three times a night for blood work at this point – surrounded by strangers was not a good one. After all she’d been through, the least I could do was be there when the nurse came around to take a little blood.

Once R stabilized on the insulin and her fluids were back up, they took out the IV. It had been very handy for all the blood tests needed to keep up on her metabolic state of affairs but IV sites are notorious for infections. So, for some blood work they could get enough by warming up her fingers and using a large lancet, milking the blood into small vials. For most of it, though, the quantity needed really called for getting it from the arm. The inside of her elbows were getting pretty chewed up from all the needles the blood work required.

On the third night it was a new nurse who came around with the tray. She seemed a bit put out at having to come to the ward – maybe she’d planned a nice quiest night, maybe she’d been held over on her shift, I don’t know but there was an attitude I hadn’t seen in any of the other blood-letters.

She grabbed R.’s arm, looked at it, snuffed. Went to the other side and grabbed that arm, snuffed again. With a heavy sigh she took up her needle and started the tie-off. She inserted the needle, muttered – she’d missed, pulled it back a bit and pushed again, muttered, pulled it back and angled another way. By now R was getting distinctly uncomfortable and was whimpering. I was appalled at what I was seeing and gripped the bed rail to keep from leaping across the bed to grab the woman by her throat.

She clumped over to the other arm and started again. Same thing, pulling back and angling another way, pulling back, angling. R was in tears now. The nurse just tossed her gear on the tray and said someone else would have to give it a try, she wasn’t getting anywhere and off she went. I was shaking by this point, followed her out and went to the nurse station.

“I don’t ever want that woman to touch my child again.” The nurses looked up in total surprise. They had grown used to my being there, sleepy at times, encouraging always and making little humorous comments to keep spirits up but this time I was white. “If she comes near R., I will put her through the wall.” One of the nurses came with me and took a look at my dear’s little arms which were actually swollen to the point she couldn’t bend them anymore. I described what I had seen. The nurse said that I could have told her to stop at anytime and that protocol is if the needle misses on the first try, it is to be removed completely and the other arm used.

She called up another phlebotomist – a sweet, obviously gay male nurse. He took a look and was shaking his head. They’d have to use finger vials because there was no way any of her arm veins could be used with all the swelling there. He apologized profusely and said he would make sure to take care of R. himself from now on for any night time blood work.

The ward nurse confided to me that the other leech, the night butcher, as I took to calling her, had a reputation for being impatient with children. She wasn’t usually called out to the ped’s ward. All I knew is she wasn’t going to be allowed within sight of me for a very long time.

Sugar Beat 1

Tag Archives: type 1 diabetes

wrestle a bear

Good night nurse

A family with Diabetes – we'd rather have a puppy